2023 “The Heart of Wales Tour”
Sixteen tourists (same number as last year) headed for the ‘Heart of Wales’ - three days of golf at Kington, Builth and Llandrindod all centred round the Metropole Hotel in Llandrindod Wells.
All 16 players made it to Kington GC - principally because Wingco was chauffeured there by Gary. Hence no deviations to another Kington or Knighton golf course.
Kington’s website boasts that it’s course is the highest in England but all of the climbing is by car up to the clubhouse. This is a blatant lie as the first hole is uphill and it carries on uphill to a defibrillator (powered by a small wind turbine and a solar panel) on the 6th tee box. Those with buggies had an advantage!
The course is a really nice heathland course with ample opportunities to lose balls in the deep bracken and a good few blind drives for the uninitiated to ‘FU’. Gaz had opened a sweep on lost ball totals for the three days of golf and this was an ominous start.
Usually on tour there are early bids for MOTD fame and the start at Kington was no exception. Derek dressed in full Aussie regalia (minus corks in the hat) and riding his trusty chariot charged up
the 17th fairway (running alongside the 2nd hole which we were playing) completely oblivious to the four irate members trying to drive off the 17th tee. There was an exchange of opinions - mostly
revolving around questions like “wtf are you doing?”, “get off our effin’ fairway”, Degsy continued playing up towards the tee box probably thinking - scratch that - probably not thinking.
The Skipper made a half-hearted attempt at MOTD fame by trying to score his Ryder Cup match (him & Doug vs Derek & Al) as a match play game (doh !!) but was ‘corrected’ in no uncertain terms by Pontiff!
Alec was also in the mood for tour infamy developing the art of creating the most difficult lies for his next shot. The next two photos are but two examples of his expertise which he developed throughout the three day tour . . . .
Weather was great most of the time - although deteriorating to drizzle on day 3. But as you can see from the photo above Kington was in great weather and the views were superb.
The 18th hole at Kington (and Llandrindod) is back towards the clubhouse over a large valley making the drive on the 18th an adventure for those who hadn’t played here before (ie all of us!).
Here’s Skip on the edge of the 18th at Kington showing his appreciation to the TBAGGERS already in the clubhouse. His drive had come to a stop here having struck a guy’s knee whilst sipping a pint (and also enjoying taking the piss out of incoming golfers). Skip apologised and bought the poor guy a pint whereupon all his mates suddenly developed bad knees!
The 18th at Kington also attracted a very loud bloke (Dunny) taking selfies, being photo-bombed by that ‘really tough lie golfer’ and his mates Palo and Mike.
Although the 18th looked very difficult - the slopes all funnelled the ball in towards the green so TBAGS had some surprisingly good scores on that hole. The loud bloke however used quite colourful language to describe the course at Kington. Most of us however didn’t agree. Skip and Pontiff shared 1st (33 pts each)
The Metropole Hotel was our ‘home’ for two nights and the dining room the site of the first MOTD round. Thankfully the room was empty on Sunday night. Night 2 we took over the bar as the dining room was full of potentially sensitive ears on Monday. Unlike last year when Denis became MOTD champion, the results were more predictable, Dunny winning night 1 and Palo edging night 2. However, as the contest was over two night there was definitely evidence of revenge on night 2.
The hotel was good and located just right for the three golf courses. The dinner menu and breakfast buffets had something for everyone. However, because the hotel was full on night 2, there were only limited numbers of single rooms - I think one or two tourists may opt for singles in the future . . .
Builth Wells Golf Course is a parkland course and for our tour was sandwiched in between the two heathland courses - a welcome ‘rest’ from climbing hills. The course was very enjoyable - the back nine noticeably more interesting than the front (imo). Holes 10 and 16 involved the river at least once and several of us fell foul of the water. Wingco found the course very much to his liking and scored 36 points winning the event scoring on every hole - well done! Brian came second with 33 points and Palo pushed Dunny out of NTP on the 5th and Mouse picking up NTP on the 11th. With the weather still good and no rush to drive home we were able to have a pint outside and enjoy the surroundings.
Of the three courses - this was the only one with sand bunkers (and even then not many of them). Some of you are probably aware of Stephen dislike of sand bunkers - was there a hidden reason the TBAGS’ tour came to the ‘Heart of Wales” ??
Llandrindod Wells GC was (I think) the best of three good courses - well I scored well so I would think that wouldn’t I. But despite the drizzle it was a very good course - again (like Kington) heathland with a very large valley guarding the 18th. My only complaint was that the Pro Shop could only find four Llandrindod Wells GC ball marker in the whole shop - my apologies to those in the Red team who missed out on this ball marker.
And so to the results . . .
Gary was good enough to run the lost ball sweep - £2 per guess. All in all - 132 balls were lost over the three days. Considering the rough and the blind fairways - not a bad result and Mike guessed 131 to win the sweep, he also won the individual prize for most balls lost (16), Dunny second (15) and the fewest losses - Pontiff (2).
The Reds came out on top of the ‘Ryder Cup’ competition after a pathetic 1/2 point on day 1, a commendable draw at Builth and a “Miracle at Llandrindod” 6 - 2 result on day 3. Reds had out numbered Blues in the lead-up to the Tour so one or two ‘reddish’ players, notably Palo were in the Blue ranks - perhaps the faint whiff of sabotage - surely not!
I hope the following results tables are correct. If you think otherwise please write to D.Teggin ℅ PO Box 78A Los Palos Grandes, Caracas, Venezuela.
The CC produced three different NTP winners (Mouse, Palo and Skip) and five different cash winners. A rollover meant a sizeable 2’s pot going into Kington. It was snaffled by Long Iron and Gaz at Builth. Wingco led the tour at Builth Wells GC - with a superb 36 pts win and a running total of 66. But, despite a fully co-piloted buggy the hills of Llandrindod did for him. Skip had a round to remember at LWGC and crossed the line in front of Brian, Pontiff and Stephen all on 89 points.
A really enjoyable tour. A massive thanks to Stephen for dealing with the difficult job of organising; to Pontiff for being chief scorecard prefect (in exchange for first on the tee!); to Archie for looking after the cards and CC table; to Gary for the lost ball sweep stake. And to all the tourists who provided the golf and the laughs.
Snake Hips
Thursday 29th June 2023
Tuesday 16th May
The Tour Worksop & Lindrick
Sixteen tourists set off for Worksop, fifteen made it well within the planned 12:30 arrival for a 2 o’clock kick off. Several arrived very early and spent what they thought was a valuable hour or so scrutinising the Par 3 18th green and how the club members playing in their Sunday competition were faring. As it turned out this was a complete waste of time as only one out of 16 TBAGgers even hit the 18th green (NTP).
Tourist No. 16, Wing Commander Leonard J. Laithwaite telephoned just before 1 o’clock to say he was about 20 minutes away. 2 o’clock arrived and still no sign, in the end a WTF decision was made and we all set off without him. He caught up his team mate on the second tee with a cock-and-bull story about visiting two other golf course, a garage and being sent the wrong way by a ‘local’. Clearly LJL had set out to be the winner of the annual MOTD event on Sunday evening !
Others were making excellent bids for a MOTD mention, amongst them Mike Peers supposedly practicing in the nets managed to send a ball clattering around the clubhouse windows and nearly knocking Skip’s block off in the process. TBAGS nearly banned before even setting foot on the course.
Worksop was a fine track and a great start to the tour. However, the TBAGS demonstration of driving off the first tee did not do it justice and was met with a good deal of hilarity from the members drinking on the balcony. 13 of 16 drives nowhere near the fairway; Palo even repeated the same knobbed shot into the bushes left of the tee just to show he could be consistent.
Photo 1st tee at Worksop only 14 tourists - Archie was the photographer, Wingco still trying to locate a landing strip somewhere in S. Yorkshire.
With a need to get to the Red Lion for dinner the rush for the 18th became a free for all. Two four-balls attempting to make up time just ended up in causing chaos - 4 out of the 8 balls in the main bunker.
Dinner was to be served immediately on arrival at the Red Lion, several cars however visited a cul-de-sac further down the main highway - apparently a post code issue - which amused the locals.
After the usual memory game of ‘what did I order for dinner’ and a liberal consumption of ale and wine the traditional MOTD ensued.
For some odd reason which I’m sure no-one can fathom, Dunny usually features as the principal contender for MOTD - but this year the results were much more widely spread. Considering the efforts put in on the day by the likes of the Wing Commander and Mike Peers it was something of a surprise that our renowned Treasurer came out ahead with four votes - beating everyone else by two. MOTD stays firmly ensconced at Royal Mersey Valley!
The following day, after a full English breakfast it was just a short trip to Lindrick GC host of the 1957 Ryder Cup. A beautiful course and a great choice for the TBAGS Tour. Rain to start with but it stayed off for most of the round
And so to the results (hopefully all correct) . . .
The Blues came out on top of the ‘Ryder Cup’ competition and received a sleeve of balls and a couple of ball markers in recognition of their efforts. (If you didn’t get your prize on the day they are available from Skip - administration and storage fees apply).
Scoring over the two days was inevitably erratic. Derek came in first at Worksop with a fine 35 Stableford points giving him 12 points in the Chairman’s Challenge - but crashed to the middle teens at Lindrick. Three very unlikely second places on day 1 shared the £10 prize and NTP was claimed by the only player to hit the 18th - Jenks.
The Pontiff came home with 36 points at Lindrick to claim first place and 12 CC points. Stephen came in with an excellent 35 points for second place and Mouse found his one golf shot of the weekend to claim NTP.
No 2’s all weekend - so a rollover going into Hesketh.
The Pontiff was the only tourist to be in the thirties on both days ending up with a total of 63 points and the first TBAGger to claim the new Laithwaite Trophy for the best total Stableford score on tour.
Well played Pontiff!
A really enjoyable tour - thanks to Stephen for organising and to all the participants who provided the ‘golf’ the laughs and the prat falls!
See you at Hesketh . . . Snake Hips
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