Sixteen seems to be the standard number for TBAGS tours over the last few years. This year the Holiday Inn, Dumfries was our centre of operations for a three day tour of Powfoot, Southerness and Dumfries and Galloway.

Having won MOTD (by a mile) on last year’s Tour Jon Morgan arrived at Tebay cunningly disguised as a Harley Davidson biker - although his short fat hairy legs were a bit of a give away. Shirts became a theme for the Day 1 MOTD.

POWFOOT GC: A beautifully lush green links course right on the coast with approach lanes which don’t seem to have been recorded on any GPS systems. Almost everyone arrived via a pot-holed lane or been sent the wrong way through the neighbouring caravan park. The course was busy with a juniors competition so no possibility of starting earlier than our 1:30 tee time. The weather was looking ominous but, although it did rain, the expected drenching didn’t materialise.

Skip took the honours on day 1 with an impressive 39 points (well Skip though so) along with NTP. Dave Hutton came in runner-up with a handsome 37. Palo arrived at the 19th with 11 points, a bad knee and looking for sympathy - oddly enough none materialised, but a buggy beckoned for the following day.

MOTD DAY1: Shirts were mentioned frequently and unsurprisingly Jon Morgan’s Tebay effort came in for some vivid descriptions. Richie arrived to dinner in a loud shirt but was completely over shadowed by Gary’s flowery blouse (presumably borrowed from an elderly Hawaiian relative). Despite the competition JM came through with a resounding 5 votes to take Day 1.

SOUTHERNESS GC: Beautiful clear blue skies and a stiff breeze greeted us at Southerness.  

NTP was won by Stephen on the 4th with a fine shot to beat Skip’s onlyjust-on effort. Mouse came in second with a beautifully played 34 points and Palo came is with 37 points to win the day. Yes, 37 points after recording an abysmal 11 points at Powfoot! The recovery was remarkable - and remark on it we did! The suspicions running deeper when he danced with his doubles partner on winning for the Reds on the 18th.

MOTD DAY 2: The Coach & Horses pub in Dumfries was the venue for a pint before dinner at La Dolce Vita across the road. The empty bar was an appropriate venue for a full volume MOTD 2. Derek had somehow avoided the voting on Day 1 even after missing the team photo. However, he was now the man in focus accumulating a massive 7 votes in as many minutes.

DUMFRIES & GALLOWAY GC: a completely different course - parkland with a few blind shots which the Pro came out and explained to us all. Richie dutifully noted all the detail on his card - then swapped cards, giving his opponent all the info - Doh! Much hillier than the previous two courses, three consecutive days of golf and a surfeit of wine and beer all contributed to lower scoring on Day 3. The Pontiff even gave up walking halfway and then ‘graciously’ scored even worse than Skip to lose his singles match.

Day 3 has no MOTD yet (at least in my 4-ball) there were MOTD candidates aplenty! On hole 2 we spent the full 3 minutes looking for Mouse’s ball only to find it 180 yds further down the fairway. Derek, in seems had mistaken a plain white ball for his blue and white striped ball. It seems that the Overall MOTD had indeed been awarded correctly !

Ian come out winner of Day 3 with a fine score of 33 followed in second place by Jenks with 32. Our TBAGS guest Jamie won NTP on the 15th green. 

RYDER CUP REDS vs BLUES: a comprehensive win for the Reds, Surprisingly two games halved. The Reds all received a large Southerness ball marker to mark the win. One was found later discarded on the bar room floor !

LOST BALLS SWEEPSTAKE: Gary (Thanks Gaz!) ran a £2 lost ball sweepstake which was won by Jamie Morgan his guess very close to the total lost - 74. This was less than 50% of last year’s lost balls (161). Why? Palo contributed 13 of the lost balls - nearly a fifth of the total - mostly on Day 1. In contrast Richie lost only one on his first shot on Day 1.

OVERALL TOUR RESULT & TROPHY: Over the three days (see the table below) there was a slump in scoring on Day 3 - energy levels dropping, more possibilities of losing balls and the accumulation of beer and wine probably all contributed.

However, six players managed to accumulate 90+ Stableford points - Alec, Jenks, Mouse, Stephen, Skip and Ian - no mean feat over three days. Two reached 97 points but unfortunately for Skip he had made public Day 1 that a tie would be settled with a count back on the back nine of Day 3 coinciding with a poor back nine (hence the grimace in the photo!). So Jenks claimed the beautiful Laithwaite trophy for his scores of 34, 31, 32 - which after all is very consistent over three days. 

Congratulations to the man from Newport - Jenks!

I’d just like to repeat a huge thanks to Stephen for the tour planning. The courses were great, the hotel fine, food, beer, wine all good. I certainly enjoyed it - Thank you Stephen!

And the trophy is a real winner - Thank you Wingco ! 

Sincerely . . . Snake Hips.

PS: for the nerds - the results tables are below . . .

Sixteen tourists (same number as last year and 2022) headed for Cumbria - three days at Workington, Siloth and Seascale with the prospect of three dry days of golf - a rarity so far this year.

Normally one or two early contenders for MOTD put in an appearance during the ‘arrival’ stage of a TBAGS tour like Wingco visiting two ‘Worksop’ courses before finding Worksop! or Mike Peers bouncing a practice ball off the clubhouse window (also Worksop). This year was no exception. Having decided to have breakfast at Tebay fifteen of sixteen assembled TBAGgers were greeted by the TBAGS WhatsApp chat pinging . . .

WORKINGTON GC: All arrived in plenty of time although parking was a bit tight and several had to park in the school car park down the road which caused a few moans and groans. Apparently there was a charity do at WGC the previous evening and those that couldn’t drive left their cars - must have been a good do.

More on this later, but Jon spent most of his warm-up time chatting to the participants of the Lady Captains match going out before us. As the Pro shop wasn’t open (a bit odd on a busy course/club?) we were given a pamphlet on how to get around the course which turned out to be essential as it was definitely a course where TBAGgers could “play all the holes but not necessarily in the right order “ (M&W 1970).

The course was difficult in places but as it turned out not the most difficult course on the tour.

Skip took first place, Ian was R-up and claimed NTP and Jon took the rolled over 2’s pot (a bit stuffy - not really)

MOTD DAY1: This is a ‘competition’ perhaps best described as onesided banter which attracts as much as, if not more attention than the main purpose of the tour - yet there is no prize for winning. If there had been a prize Dunny’s trophy cabinet would be overflowing after the last few years, but somehow he managed to avoid his usual place on the podium only attracting one vote. Day 1 saw Mouse take the honours, most of his votes coming from his fellow travellers who apparently arrived at ‘Chez Mouse’ to find him in a state of undress, then Alec somehow spilt water on something, Ray’s driving came in for criticism and the whole thing spiralled into revenge voting and a clear win for Mouse. PS: Alec and Ray picked up a few votes too.

SILLOTH ON SOLWAY GC: The centre piece of the tour and by some margin the most difficult of the three courses. As a measure of the difficulty TBAGS scored 79 points less here than at Seascale the following day. However, a beautiful links course with a Pro (Simon) who really loves his job.

A glorious day for weather too, except the wind suddenly picked up right on our tee time . . .

Just out after our tee came a whole series of ladies matches most of them two-balls, that eventually began to play through the TBAGS ranks. This is where Jon began to accumulate votes for MOTD DAY 2. Apparently because he didn’t lose any balls (at Silloth) he had plenty of time to chat to each and every one of them as they played through - leaving his playing partners scurrying around in the rough (described by the Pro as ‘penal’, don’t go in the rough!).

Jon inevitably took first place by a margin of 6 points(!), Ian was R-up and claimed the NTP from the Pontiff. And not too surprisingly there were no 2’s leaving a rollover for Seascale.

MOTD DAY 2: This was conducted at ‘the Bitter End’ pub in Cockermouth after a warm-up in the ‘Swan’ a few yards up the hill. Stephen did sterling work here as he’d composed a list of the pre-ordered meals a couple of weeks ago. “I ordered Fish & Chips” was quickly countered with - “No you didn’t it was Steak & Ale pie".

This MOTD turned into a landslide victory for Jon. Most of the ‘critique’ revolved around his attention to the ladies playing through, perhaps supported by a few memories of his chattiness with the Lady Captains day at Workington. I suspect also that there was a hint of the green-eyed monster involved after he basically beat the field by six clear points with a magnificent 35 points on what was definitely not an easy course.

SEASCALE GC: is very definitely on the coast but is not exactly a links course. It is more hilly than a links course and slightly ‘parkland’ in places. Perhaps a coastal heathland links is a better description.

There were a few surprises around the course not the least of which was Mouse plonking his tee shot off the 16th on the green of the 14th. It certainly confused Archie!

The course sits right next door to the Sellafield nuclear power station which judging by the number of razor-wire fences, cameras and alarms going off is very security conscious.

Even after the rabbit hole lie Alex ran out winner at Seascale with 37 points. It really should have been more, he had 23 on the front but then remembered he had a few crap shots in his bag that had to be used up (!). Ian R-up for a third time. Jon trumped Dunny for the NTP on 10th; nobody even hit the green for NTP on the 13th. And Keith took the rolled over 2’s pot (a healthy £32 - I still owe you £12 KP!). 

And so to the overall results . . . (NB - if you find errors in the following - email DT@skroou.com for an immediate and succinct reply)

The ‘Ryder Cup’ was 3 - 1 to Blue on Day 1 but Reds came back to level the score 4 - 4 on Day 2. Some of the Blues remembered the Red comeback last year on Day 3, but this time it was not to be and Blue ran out 10 - 6 winners. Congratulations . . . !

The results table, below,is sorted to show the overall winner (most Stableford points) for the Tour trophy over the three days. The prizes are listed - First and 2nd places, NTP, 2’s (and MOTD !) for each day.

There’s also Most LB’s = most lost balls which was won by Ray. I didn’t have a prize for this but as nobody even reached the green on the second NTP at Seascale he was rewarded with the spare bottle - well played Ray !

The number of lost balls each day wasn’t all that different. However there is a very large difference in the total points scored each day which I think reflects the relative difficulty of each course. Silloth was 79 points harder than Seascale (5 points per player) - (yet 50 LB’s vs 51).

Ian had a great tour with 2nd place each day ending up as Runner-up in the overall to Jon Morgan - the Tour champion and winner of the trophy. Well played Jon !!

Finally I’d just like to say a huge thanks to Stephen for getting this tour (and all the others) organised. It is extremely difficult to satisfy everyone, but he somehow succeeds. I certainly enjoyed it - Thx

Sincerely . . . Snake Hips

Sixteen tourists (same number as last year) headed for the ‘Heart of Wales’ - three days of golf at Kington, Builth and Llandrindod all centred round the Metropole Hotel in Llandrindod Wells.

All 16 players made it to Kington GC - principally because Wingco was chauffeured there by Gary. Hence no deviations to another Kington or Knighton golf course.

Kington’s website boasts that it’s course is the highest in England but all of the climbing is by car up to the clubhouse. This is a blatant lie as the first hole is uphill and it carries on uphill to a defibrillator (powered by a small wind turbine and a solar panel) on the 6th tee box. Those with buggies had an advantage!

The course is a really nice heathland course with ample opportunities to lose balls in the deep bracken and a good few blind drives for the uninitiated to ‘FU’. Gaz had opened a sweep on lost ball totals for the three days of golf and this was an ominous start.

Usually on tour there are early bids for MOTD fame and the start at Kington was no exception. Derek dressed in full Aussie regalia (minus corks in the hat) and riding his trusty chariot charged up the 17th fairway (running alongside the 2nd hole which we were playing) completely oblivious to the four irate members trying to drive off the 17th tee. There was an exchange of opinions - mostly revolving around questions like “wtf are you doing?”, “get off our effin’ fairway”, Degsy continued playing up towards the tee box probably thinking - scratch that - probably not thinking.

The Skipper made a half-hearted attempt at MOTD fame by trying to score his Ryder Cup match (him & Doug vs Derek & Al) as a match play game (doh !!) but was ‘corrected’ in no uncertain terms by Pontiff!

Weather was great most of the time - although deteriorating to drizzle on day 3. But as you can see from the photo above Kington was in great weather and the views were superb. 

The 18th hole at Kington (and Llandrindod) is back towards the clubhouse over a large valley making the drive on the 18th an adventure for those who hadn’t played here before (ie all of us!).

Builth Wells Golf Course is a parkland course and for our tour was sandwiched in between the two heathland courses - a welcome ‘rest’ from climbing hills. The course was very enjoyable - the back nine noticeably more interesting than the front (imo). Holes 10 and 16 involved the river at least once and several of us fell foul of the water. Wingco found the course very much to his liking and scored 36 points winning the event scoring on every hole - well done! Brian came second with 33 points and Palo pushed Dunny out of NTP on the 5th and Mouse picking up NTP on the 11th. With the weather still good and no rush to drive home we were able to have a pint outside and enjoy the surroundings.

Of the three courses - this was the only one with sand bunkers (and even then not many of them). Some of you are probably aware of Stephen dislike of sand bunkers - was there a hidden reason the TBAGS’ tour came to the ‘Heart of Wales” ??

Llandrindod Wells GC was (I think) the best of three good courses - well I scored well so I would think that wouldn’t I. But despite the drizzle it was a very good course - again (like Kington) heathland with a very large valley guarding the 18th. My only complaint was that the Pro Shop could only find four Llandrindod Wells GC ball marker in the whole shop - my apologies to those in the Red team who missed out on this ball marker.

And so to the results . . .

Gary was good enough to run the lost ball sweep - £2 per guess. All in all - 132 balls were lost over the three days. Considering the rough and the blind fairways - not a bad result and Mike guessed 131 to win the sweep, he also won the individual prize for most balls lost (16), Dunny second (15) and the fewest losses - Pontiff (2).

The Reds came out on top of the ‘Ryder Cup’ competition after a pathetic 1/2 point on day 1, a commendable draw at Builth and a “Miracle at Llandrindod” 6 - 2 result on day 3. Reds had out numbered Blues in the lead-up to the Tour so one or two ‘reddish’ players, notably Palo were in the Blue ranks - perhaps the faint whiff of sabotage - surely not!

I hope the following results tables are correct. If you think otherwise please write to D.Teggin ℅ PO Box 78A Los Palos Grandes, Caracas, Venezuela.

The CC produced three different NTP winners (Mouse, Palo and Skip) and five different cash winners. A rollover meant a sizeable 2’s pot going into Kington. It was snaffled by Long Iron and Gaz at Builth. Wingco led the tour at Builth Wells GC - with a superb 36 pts win and a running total of 66. But, despite a fully co-piloted buggy the hills of Llandrindod did for him. Skip had a round to remember at LWGC and crossed the line in front of Brian, Pontiff and Stephen all on 89 points.

Tuesday 16th May 

The Tour Worksop & Lindrick

Sixteen tourists set off for Worksop, fifteen made it well within the planned 12:30 arrival for a 2 o’clock kick off. Several arrived very early and spent what they thought was a valuable hour or so scrutinising the Par 3 18th green and how the club members playing in their Sunday competition were faring. As it turned out this was a complete waste of time as only one out of 16 TBAGgers even hit the 18th green (NTP).

Tourist No. 16, Wing Commander Leonard J. Laithwaite telephoned just before 1 o’clock to say he was about 20 minutes away. 2 o’clock arrived and still no sign, in the end a WTF decision was made and we all set off without him. He caught up his team mate on the second tee with a cock-and-bull story about visiting two other golf course, a garage and being sent the wrong way by a ‘local’. Clearly LJL had set out to be the winner of the annual MOTD event on Sunday evening !

Others were making excellent bids for a MOTD mention, amongst them Mike Peers supposedly practicing in the nets managed to send a ball clattering around the clubhouse windows and nearly knocking Skip’s block off in the process. TBAGS nearly banned before even setting foot on the course.

Worksop was a fine track and a great start to the tour. However, the TBAGS demonstration of driving off the first tee did not do it justice and was met with a good deal of hilarity from the members drinking on the balcony. 13 of 16 drives nowhere near the fairway; Palo even repeated the same knobbed shot into the bushes left of the tee just to show he could be consistent.

Photo 1st tee at Worksop only 14 tourists - Archie was the photographer, Wingco still trying to locate a landing strip somewhere in S. Yorkshire. 

With a need to get to the Red Lion for dinner the rush for the 18th became a free for all. Two four-balls attempting to make up time just ended up in causing chaos - 4 out of the 8 balls in the main bunker.

Dinner was to be served immediately on arrival at the Red Lion, several cars however visited a cul-de-sac further down the main highway - apparently a post code issue - which amused the locals.

After the usual memory game of ‘what did I order for dinner’ and a liberal consumption of ale and wine the traditional MOTD ensued.

For some odd reason which I’m sure no-one can fathom, Dunny usually features as the principal contender for MOTD - but this year the results were much more widely spread. Considering the efforts put in on the day by the likes of the Wing Commander and Mike Peers it was something of a surprise that our renowned Treasurer came out ahead with four votes - beating everyone else by two. MOTD stays firmly ensconced at Royal Mersey Valley!

The following day, after a full English breakfast it was just a short trip to Lindrick GC host of the 1957 Ryder Cup. A beautiful course and a great choice for the TBAGS Tour. Rain to start with but it stayed off for most of the round

And so to the results (hopefully all correct) . . .

The Blues came out on top of the ‘Ryder Cup’ competition and received a sleeve of balls and a couple of ball markers in recognition of their efforts. (If you didn’t get your prize on the day they are available from Skip - administration and storage fees apply).

Scoring over the two days was inevitably erratic. Derek came in first at Worksop with a fine 35 Stableford points giving him 12 points in the Chairman’s Challenge - but crashed to the middle teens at Lindrick. Three very unlikely second places on day 1 shared the £10 prize and NTP was claimed by the only player to hit the 18th - Jenks.

The Pontiff came home with 36 points at Lindrick to claim first place and 12 CC points. Stephen came in with an excellent 35 points for second place and Mouse found his one golf shot of the weekend to claim NTP.

A really enjoyable tour - thanks to Stephen for organising and to all the participants who provided the ‘golf’ the laughs and the prat falls!

See you at Hesketh . . . Snake Hips